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purplespeckles's Journal

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'...about the dullest chunk of dough that ever went through life, without really doing a thing except eat and sleep and tremble at the sight of a job of work...'

"I was a vegetarian before I knew it was fashionable."

I was born in the twentieth century, and I am relatively boring off paper. You wouldn't want to meet me in real life, but you probably couldn't because I look like wallpaper or something. You know what I'm getting at.

I eat no animals. I like books and plastic jewellery. I was born fifty years too late to be a hippay. I have a pink balloon for a face too, and if I had to describe myself in one word it would be 'nondescript'. No-one's ever asked me before though. People have challenged themselves to describe me. I disregarded those as mere insults. 'Weird' indeed.

I am also fickle, and I hate people as a generalisation as opposed to hating particular people. I like rewriting this box. It amuses me. I try to learn German, when I have a spare hour or two. I'm not fluent. I am only fluent in English. I speak pitiful Spanish. I don't like my forename. I think it's drab and tawdry. I don't like my surname either, because I'm not Irish. However, it is a relatively uncommon name, once it is removed from the Emerald Isle and stranded in the North-East of England. This is a mediocre place to live. I don't mind it so much, but the accents are butch and there's been a spate of murders, which is always nice.

I like talking about Noble Steve. I won't discuss him with people who can't see through my facade of respectability and maturity, but I am happy to discuss Steve and his nobility with just about anyone else. I have no musical talent whatsoever. That said, I did compose a song about Noble Steve, to the tune of Frere Jacques.

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